As weak human beings we are not able to pray all the time with words, but we are able to do so by having a longing heart: “Longing is always a prayer, even though the tongue is silent. If you are longing without interruption, then you are always praying. When does our prayer sleep? Only when our desire cools” (Sermon 80, 7). Nevertheless, Augustine always underlines the necessity of a special time for praying with words.

(This was taken from the Augustinian Website)

Dear God,

Help me to pray . . . or rather increase my longing for You . . . set my heart on fire with the fire of Your Spirit . . . set my heart ablaze with the flames of Your Divine Love. This I ask in the name of Your Son and our Lord Jesus Christ and the intercession of the Great Mother of God, Mary Most Holy. Amen.

Carmel

I have been reading the Carmel book about their way of life and spirituality while waiting for my order in a fastfood here in a mall. I really have to stop reading because I am getting misty-eyed again. Yes, again because it has been a common occurrence every time I get caught with the Spirit's movements. Then a voice keeps on sounding in my heart, "I have to meet God in Carmel !" Sometimes this voice sounds so persuasive and so persistent but I know I have to go through some path before going there.

O how I wish it will only be that easy ! If only it is just a simple "yes."

Allowing God to be God

Many of those who have been in God's service have fallen into the trap of making a god out of this service. They eventually come to the point that it is no longer God they are serving but the self with all its needs and with all self-seeking and its self-justifying mechanisms. It is very hard to see especially if one has already fixed his attitudes with the self-righteous character of a "holier than thou" person. It might be very hard to accept but doing good can prevent a well-meaning Christian from loving God. To help others will be something good but one might get addicted to the good feelings and to the creeping but silent awareness that "I am a good person and a holy person" which are, of course, nothing but hidden pride. Our knowledge of God can also lead us away from God primarily if we have not been open to the workings of the Spirit. This maybe because the person must have been too preoccupied preaching about God, conceptualizing what and who God is and making other people understand that they eventually lose the very essence of Christianity and that is actually loving God and others. Thinking too much about God may also prevent one from losing everything even these divine ideas so that one can learn directly from God Himself. Great spiritual writers from Eckhart, John of the Cross and the author of the Cloud of Unknowing have only one word that preludes the meeting with the Ultimate, Everlasting, Omnipotent GOD . . . and that is to see, to feel, to know and to be......nothing. God can only be God if we are pure of heart that is there is no other intention in our heart lesser than God Himself. Thanking God for the gifts of things, persons and life is one way of acknowledging that these may all be good but there will always be a time that we realize that only God matters.

You Have Loved Me, O God

Dear God,

You have loved me, when I cannot love You yet
You have loved me, when I did not love you enough
You have loved me, when I was running away from You
You have loved me even though you know I will not be able to return
the love You gave to me.

I have been blinded by the world around me yet You have loved me
I have been so concerned with my endless needs and issues but you have been loving me
I have not responded to Your calls and invites but You have loved me
You have been loving me all those times that I take no heed of all the things
You have been doing to me.

You have loved me though I cannot put up with your laws and commandments
You have loved me when I don't even know how to pray
You have loved me when I have been too lazy going to church
You have loved me even though I don't deserve anything from You...
and I don't deserve to be loved at all.

In my simple nothingness, You have loved me with an everlasting love.

How can I ever not love You in return?

Heaven: Only for the Pure of Heart

I just read a book on purgatory and the author is unknown most probably a woman or a religious who has been given some gift to see purgatory but in quite a different light. Yes in the perspective of the great mercy of God. That purgatory is filled with people who love God and who celebrate His Mercy by going through all these purificatory process in a painful yet very bearable way because of the knowledge that this is simply filling in all the empty spaces in one's life, vacuum in one's heart.

I realized in a new way that in this life nothing matters but whether you think, feel, act and live this life for, in and with God or not. If not, then it has to be redeemed every single moment and every single draw of your breath but surprisingly what matters is how much humility and how much truthfulness that you have dealt your self and a person's forsaking everything all for God.

Doing good, doing a required good and doing good for Goodness Himself. How different all these in Purgatory ! Yes you do good but where is your heart? What are all these good works for? Are they for sympathy or for love? Are you supposed to do these things? Or should you be doing something else? How much time is wasted! How many priests and religious who simply have not taken all opportunities given to them to reach the heights of sanctity! How much they have to make up for all the lost time! But God in His everlasting mercy have made even the slightest intention a holy excuse, so to say, to save us from destruction. What matters is not what you do but how much love you have in doing it. Yes, it is the principle of St. Therese of the Child Jesus.

Am I not the God? Am I not the Omnipotent God? Why do you still insist in doing things on your own? You should know that I know things better and I do these in a much better way for your good and the good of your soul. Why not just allow me to fulfill My divine will on you? I do not need big works or large achievements. I only need your heart. I only want your full and complete submission. How much do I want to have you here in My Kingdom! How much have I filled My Heart with tender longings for you to love Me in return! But you won't allow it and you have made Me wait for long hours, days, weeks and years!

Beyond Words

Your presence has sent me looking for words. Breathless yet fully complete. Surprised yet filled with peaceful joy. How indescribable yet so real !

My heart can only sing because it seems to have lost its faculty to describe. My eyes can only be transfixed while gazing longingly at you. No words ! No words will possibly be enough in order to fathom the substance of such great unconditional love !

I never knew that the God that theology and religion has so studied, explained and reflected will be this beautiful ! Right now there can be nothing I will ask God but that I may love more so that I can see God more. There will never be enough !

Go where, God ?

Another morning in just another day of my life. What's new? Going through the motion of things in the routinary events.

And in a moment's flash, I find myself engulfed by a powerful yet gentle longing for the Ultimate Meaning. Not even the tears that have filled my eyes could probably drown me from the intensely real presence of God.

O God . . . I go here and there ---- but that is not relevant. I age through the years and wander through periods and times ------ but that is irrelevant still. For one tender moment, I got seized up from my mortal miseries ---- and live some brief sparks of eternity.

I would have wanted more . . . I would have longed for much intensity just so to embalm this wounded heart. Just so to see more clearly ------but again ----- God fled ----just for me to pursue Him in this maddening race of my life.

There were no words. No rational explanation. None of the theoretical or scientific justification.
Only love.

........ and for just a brief instant, again, God.